Sunday, December 26, 2004

New year is coming up a head !

Hi..I'm take393, was your Christmas?
Did you enjoy it?
I didn't do anything special at all. But I've found one thing..that is to say, Christmas let people feel more relax, also it makes people become more tender to others.
Yon know what I mean?
Even someone pushes me around to do the task or something, I can be more patient, I can let someone says whatever he or she wants to. Only the reason's Christmas, so I don't want to take it out on others.

Alright let's talk about novel...Last time I mentioned how I became closer to those two guys..I guess I have to refer to them in more details.
One guy called 'Makoto' was born in Gunma (a northern part of Kanto Region). He was a year older than I.He grew up in Gunma until he became 8 years old. At that time his parents have devorced and his dad has gone away, so his mother had to raise her children.
Makoto used to have one sister who was 3 years younger than he, but he had lost her due to the sickness when he was 5 years old.
His mother had to work around the clock to raise Makoto. While she was working she has developed cerebral hemorrhage and had to be hopitalized. After 2 months have passed she suddenly passed away...though Makoto was still at his age of 8 years old.When he heard the news that his mother died like a dog, he was really in desperate.
So Makoto had to rely himself on his relative who were his aunt and her husband after all, however it didn't go well.
As they were so nasty and often tried to push him around to help their housework and stuff as he grows up. Especially, his uncle in law was so alcoholic that he often beat up against Makoto when he was in a middle school.

One day after graduating middle school, Makoto decided to get away from them, and he wandered around from place to place, and finally he came up to Tokyo all the way from Gunma and looked for a job.
Still,Makoto was 15 then, and wasn't easy to get a decent job, either since he didn't have any guarantor nor had he any identification. All what Makoto did is,to fake up his walking path, for cheating some of his passing careers, prentending to be order as if he were 18, using a fake name and so on. He hid himself and deceived others on and on, and he's got a job at the end.
But actually it was not the one what Makoto really expected. To put it more specific, he forced to work as a 'lady-boy'at a certain gay bar, whereas it was not his cup of tea.
As Makoto was pretty handsome guy, he made many guests being attracted, so that he always ranked the first of the boy's list.

Well...I'm afraid it's running out of time,so we stop there.Next time I'll try to refer to Makoto thoroughly. Probably, that would be next year, I'm really sorry about that.
See you next year, and I wish all you guys to have a nice new year !


Friday, December 24, 2004

It's Christmas !

Hi...I'm take393, long time no see!
To tell you the truth, as I was pretty hectic these days, and my dad god rest his soul all of a sudden last month, that's why I couldn't get around to it took me quite a long time to get into this essay. Sorry for making excuses.
As you is the Christmas eve...but unfortunately, I have no plan yet,and I haven't come up with the idea how to spend it either.Since I'm not a Christian, nor am I young enough to think of how to make it up for the wasting times, you know.
I haven't celebrate my own Christmas for ages, since I had split it up long time before.
Today,I'd like to mention how I addicted to drugs and stuff.After I've got acqainted with two guys which I mentioned before, I was just playing around and I ended up being kicked out the university, as it seemed so hard to get a degree within 4 years.Rather I was really wanting to jump into the another pond instead of graduating university.At that time, I was hoping to be richer and didn't want to drag out the situation that I was still down and out.
I really wanted to make my own way so as to seize some chance to make money. I would like to be a certain celebrity, like a millionaire or something, you know. And I was always wondering why most people hold onto such kind of fucking degrees and stuff, whereas some others try to take a chance to seize their dreams. Besides it seemed more fun to take alternative way to make your life fruitful, as far as I was concerned.
2 guys which I met seemed not to be mediocre, so that I was intrigued so much. They seemed to be so cool, like James Dean,Elvis Plesley, or something like big star...that I can't possibly imitate to be.
And what's more, they've got a expesive vehicle, a motorbike as well as a luxurious accommodation, like a big condominium incruding a bar counter that seems definitely impossible for me to come by...

As long as I tag along with those guys, I was no longer strapped for cash either.
But later I found that it was all illusion. They've only played tricks on me dozens of time, and I wasn't able to get away from them.

Sorry, it's time...bye for now, see you !


Saturday, November 06, 2004

Let's get back to my novel

Hi...I'm take393,last time I just went off on a tangent and tried to mention what's going around me.
It sounds so tragic for some readers though,while I'm trying to write something of my own,I'm sure that I'm always got to be neutral and I'm always trying to describe things objectively how I feel as well,no matter how things goes,even if it's a good or bad.
You know what I mean?

Today...let's get into my novel in more detail.
After I lost my ex girl friend,I was at a loss and I was just wondering around from place to place.And later after that,I bumped into some guys at a bar.
At that time,I was drinking too much in order to take my minds off her tragic death.
Then I came to realize that every things around me faded away,and that it made me faint and I gradually became confused,and sometime later I fell off to sleep.

Hours passed,it was already dawn out there when I came to know someone was prodding me to wake up....
Two guys were standing right in front of me,and asked me to come along.
I tnrned down their offer at first, but finally I gave in and followed them.
Of course I had no idea how would it be so far...and I wasn't sure what I might gonna do either after I lost her.Only I could do so far was to just tag along wherever they need to go,cause that was the only way I could get away from my tragedy.

The days passed by,we got acqainted with each other closely,then I started to count on them, began to let it all hang out to those guys what was going so far,and occasionally,they showed me some sympathy as well.
I was premature in trusting them so easily,later I came to realize it was all my fault for believing them,but it was too late...

Alright,you guys...let's call it a day, see you next time!


Wednesday, November 03, 2004

I'll go off on a tangent

Hi..I'm take393,welcome back again,my fellows!
Well,I'm in a bad fix at the moment...sorry for beating around the bush, but I've got to go off on a tangent for a while.

That is to say, my father has been hospitalized for a few months because of developing a cancer in the vicinity of his liver,you know.
I've been writing certain essays regarding my first novel so far which I drafted in 1993.
But while I'm writing my essays,things were getting so drastically,and I came to a conclusion that I must mention what was going around me.
It was on the 28th of July when my father hospitalized,at that time he was not so bad,though he had some problem with his liver.
Then he started to check up thoroughly,and later he found that he has developed a cancer.
So the doctor recommended us to take a surgery before it spread out.we agreed to have him operated,however it didn't go well.
Meanwhile,he seemed to be getting better gradually,but he began to be feverish all of a sudden from the late of Oct.
I had no idea what was going around,and later we found that he was in critical condition,and the doctor told us that they tried to leave no stone unturned,
however everything went wrong!

'What's the hell you were doing,you are bastard!?'
My mother started to take it out on doctors and she turned to be at a loss right after that.
'Sorry,maam...we know how you feel,but we tried to do our best but he didn't seem to be going well. The only thing we can do for you and your husband is to try to keep his life extended by using a respirator...I guess it should be a last resort we can do...'
So we ended up making a decision that we allow doctors to use a respirator for my father in order to avoid his sudden passing.

As a result,he managed to avoid passing but he is still at stake right now.
Now that I make sure he might not be getting well,nor might he be up and far as I'm concerned.

Sorry that I went off on a tangent,cause I feel reluctant to metion about my novel more in detail today.

Hope to see you soon,viewers !


Saturday, October 23, 2004

what's more about my novel,again

Hi,I'm take393,today I'd like to mention about my novel,once more.
After we both had broken up,I was just wondering around seeking some lovers, meanwhile my ex-girl friend got married spending extravagant days.
we sometimes kept in touch with each other,knowing what's going around after we've been left apart,but later I found that it was all in vain.
I ve noticed that she would never come back,and my love seemed so far...
so I just quit chasing her for good and tried to find another one.
However,it didn't go well...and a year passed by,I turned to 19...
while I was sophomore in college, a letter came in to my apatment when I got back home,and found my ex-girls'sudden passing due to the car accident.The letter was from her mother,saying she had got involved in the car clash..while she was driving express way with her husband.I was so shocked to hear the incident that I coudn't help but burst into tears.
This incident made me go insane after that,I counldn't control myself either.
I was so hopeless to live without her,just hanging around,started to use some drags,and started to hop around from bar to bar seeing some bad friends to get acquainted with in order to get some drags...

Well,of course it wasn't myself,it's just a fucking story,you know. Alright fulks,let't get into take further steps next week,take care!


Friday, October 22, 2004

what's new?

Hi,this is take393,again.I'm coming back now.I've written about my previous novels several times. As it was my first attempt to publish my works,I feel embarrassed when someone look at it and says,
'How boring it is'
But no matter what people say,I won't quit writing as long as I'm enjoying itself, nor will I get away from it.
I know it's not an easy task though,but imagine that you are the child and you don't have much capacity to handle with communicating,what will you do?
Obviously,you will ask some adults how to cope with it and learn about it as well.Gradually he learns expressions step by step and grows up.
This category also applies to when writing essay and stuff,don't you think so?
Well that's all I wanted to mention tonight,see you back again!


Saturday, October 16, 2004

How did my novel go?

Hi, long time no see.I'm take393...remember me?
As I was publishing my essay dozens ot time, however it hasn't still appeared on the blogger's index you know...Is there anything else I must do to allow other viewers to check it out?
Well, that makes me irritating, you know... just forget about that.
Well, I have written my novel for years when I was at late 20s, but I strapped for cash, so I gave up publishing.
But I really loved to writing itself , no matter what was happening around me.So I' ve just kept going on and on until up to 35.
As you already kwow, I made up a story just a little bit, because if I write exactly what I experienced,it should be boring you know, and what's more,to change and see the different world was more interesring to hooked on. So I redrafted again and again to a heart content, and finally it was ready to get all done.
But sorry to say...I didn't exactly remember details about it inside out, so it took me too much time to review what was going on the novel.
We're running out of time, and I guess I'd better try to continue next time, see you back again...folks!


Monday, October 11, 2004

I' m utterly exausted

Hi,I'm take 393 from Japan...Now I'm stuck.The reason why I'm stuck is, no one can't still find out my message, and what's more, I'm not sure how to keep going for writing my essay,
Acutually, I'm sure the result of publishing whether I could get all this done successfully...
I have no idea how to let some visitors log in to my web-page.
I guess there should be something wrong during my process, provided someone could check this out, and give me some comments as for the matter, I would be so happy...
Well that's all about it...
Thank you


Saturday, October 09, 2004

what's more about my novel

Hello again,everyone,Today I'd like to mention my novel in more detail.As I already metioned about it last time, that mostly it was based on my own biography,but it contains some fictions as well.
Last time, I didin't mention why we have broken up...
The reason is...I found that I prefer same-sexual to women, and ended up telling her the truth.
Ofcourse she was so astonished at it, began to cry all of sudden,and left me.
But it's not the real of my own, it's just the fiction.

All right you folks, see you back again!


Saturday, October 02, 2004

About my novel

Hello again, everyone. Today, I'd like to mention about my first novel in detail.
My first novel was mostly based on my experience in my school days, back in 1981 through 1984 at my age of 17 to 20.
I was in a high school, studying and doing some club activities, just spending standard days, thinking of something special, like seeing some beautiful woman and stuff. But actually, there wasn't enough time to get around to that kind of stuff.
So eventually, just right before I graduate from high school, I decided to work as a part-timer, looking for some girl friend to talk with. And finally I've got it made.
We started seeing each other for a year, spending fruitful times. Whenever I saw her, I could take my minds off studying, fucking trivial days and stuff.
Unfortunately, for some reason it didn't last long...

Do you want to know more about it?
Then I'll give you some know.
Just link to this web-page, and don't miss to check it out...
So I guess we're running out of time now, see you back again!


my introduction

Hi, everybody....First, I'd like to introduce myself. I'm take393, from Japan.This is my first time to attemt to my post my message on this web-page.Well...I'm not sure how to do that, nor am I sure how it goes, you know. Provided someone had a look at it, I guess it mind be kind boring, doesn't matter.
I was once craving to become a writer, I still remember when I started writing, it was more than a decade ago.
I was at home, doing nothing. One day when I was spurred on to begin by seeing the royal wedding on T.V, when something came out of my mind and drove me to write down in a manuscript at my age of 28.
I was hooked on writing a certain novel. Whenever I came off duty, it was as if I were making up for the lost time in my teen age years.
As long as I kept going for that, I could conpensate for my fucking trivial days, like a montonous job and stuff.
Well, I was working as a security guard at that time, just staying alone in a factory, nobody coming, so that this situation inspired me to do something special. That's all.
I'm afraid I'm running out of time now, I gonna try to describe more in detail next time, so see you back again folks!