Friday, July 23, 2010

Just a single blow…but totally pissed off!!

Well, in recent days Ive totally disoriented just because of a series of setbacks, besides my head is likely to melt down coz it is extremely hot & sticky out here in these days, which marked the highest temp ever the past few years.

Indeed, this relentless weather entirely wears me off, takes everything away, my sleep, exercises, which are walking & work out, even makes me feel reluctant to head out for moms hospital periodically. Last time I met her was in July 7, and my fatigue has accumulated as a result of vicious circle of debauched life style. It does prompt my sleep disorder, and ended up getting lax in my life even after the World Cup aftermath had completely subsided.

To put it more specific, I can only sleep 1-2 hours at night, and waking up at least for 4-5 hours or longer after that, and then sleep again around extra 4-5 hours in the afternoon if I can afford itSo the afternoons rest should be my tight sleep. Which is totally opposite from the bulk of people, and it is not just a nap. But sometimes I can only sleep extra 2-3 hours just like today when it is extremely hot, even in the environment where the air-conditioner is equipped with. Still I sweat it out while sleeping at times even though the living room is air-conditioned, and thats the mystery.  

So I sometimes feel sorry for my mom, just because of leaving her alone at the hospital for awhile, and no one but I visit her sometimes, but should it not be enough, I know.

Wellits high time for me to take you into my confidence, which is about my moms status.
Currently she has developed Schizophrenia, whose primary symptoms are hallucination or delusion, especially paranoia, which is similar to manic depressive disorders, but not equal. For detailed explanations, have a look at the link;   

To be honest, what triggered her to develop this disease is yet to be found out even doc still cannot pinpoint the primary cause of it.
Actually we tried a series of treatment for her from her first hospitalization in Nov 2006. In the past, she did recover her illness and was able to check out and stayed home several times for a period of times before her current hospitalization as of Aug 2008, but after a series of setbacks, she is getting senile and she has also developed Parkinson's syndrome as a complication just because of side effects on medical treatment.

In conclusion, I must admit the odds are against her illness from the recovery, which means hardly to recover, she may stay in the hospital until she passes away, who knows??
So I told one of my friends the other day that it seems at the end of my tether on how to tackle the issueIndeed, Im in the deadlock at the moment.

Also I need to find my job as soon as possible however I also have some health problems as you may know, which hinders my job hunting.
So far, I can barely make ends meet, which I still have around $50,000 or more for my savings including foreign currencies, but before running out, I have to secure a job of course. Or at least things get better, Ill apply for my new job as Ive been such long at loose ends no matter what  which is nearly 18 months  just as my uncle feel anxious about.

Seems I referred to a sanctuary which I never mention on FBso that should be enough.

And lastlyit is just a single blow though what got me totally pissed off was the sudden incidents occurred in the morning, when I was logging on Facebook, Ive found that the number of my friends was diminished, which was 41 to 40. Soon Ive figured out who the hell removed me from his friends list, but it was hard to believe at first when I tracked down the culprit, one of my close friends, but precisely it was a long time ago, now were just acquaintancesso it was not that severe impact since our relations are fading away after many twists and turns that we both had to go through.

Anyway, slow and steady wins the racenever rush but keep steady going seems the best bet!
Thanks for taking your time to read them all!

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